The Cacophony of Chance

I have realized that most of my blog post, except for the ones about the political issues in Bosnia – were much easier to write than to read. My last post before this one entitled –Why Jasmin’s Heart – was a perfect example. It was basically a stream of concusses without the solid ground to hold to. But I also hope that it was not completely hermetic.

It has been a while since I wrote my last post and lot of things happened in the meantime. My son has come back from Austrian hospital where he was subjected to various medical examinations concerning his heart condition. His surgery was something that we were all expecting with high expectations and fear and it did not take place after all. The Austrian doctors have given up on his surgery for now saying that his condition is more or less stable and that he probably would not need it until the next few years. The doctors here, back home were no less surprised with that decision than I was.

As a parent of the child with a complex heart problem, the child who is now only ten months old and absolutely the most adorable kid in the whole world, it is not easy for me to hear very ambiguous and often very contradictory opinions about my son’s health situation given by various medical experts. I am certainly not an expert in this field but I have read by now a whole little library about TGA, VSD, and pulmonary stenosis on the internet.

What I am beginning to understand is that every case in this matter is pretty much unique and that the medicine today is still incapable of resolving all the mysteries. Every case of congenital heart disease comes together with specific and complex puzzle that experts needs to decipher like for the very first time.

TGA – which stands for transposition of the grand arteries in my son’s case is basically levotranspositon or L TGA, the main arteries have switched the place which would be instantly lethal if not for the other anomalies VSD (basically a hole in the heart) and pulmonary stenosis. So this other defects are miraculously somehow working together and keeping my son’s state stable. VSD, or an opening of about 10 millimeters in my son’s heart is helping the mixing of the oxygen rich blood together with the oxygen poor blood.

But there is more wonders. In cases of Transposition of the Great Arteries, these vessels arise from the wrong ventricle. They are "transposed" from their normal position so that the aorta arises from the right ventricle and the pulmonary artery from the left ventricle. But in my son’s case as far as have understood the doctors here – ventricles in my son’s heart have switched their places. If this was too complicated let me try to clear up – The heart has two ventricles or hearth chambers. In the case of TGA of DTGA aorta arises from the right ventricle and the pulmonary artery from the left ventricle which is exactly opposite of how it should be. In my son’s heart the heart chambers have switched places so that is why his condition is called “corrected TGA” or L TGA or levotransposition.

So the place where I am standing now is getting more and more into a labyrinth of the questions. What is the hardest part is that I am hearing different suggestions about how my son’s condition should be treated in the future. Austrian doctors are saying that we should wait with the surgery. The ones in my homeland are indefinite – some of them are suggesting that my son’s surgery should be performed as soon as possible. Others are supporting the view of the doctors from Austria. It is hard to know what to think and what kind of attitude should I approach.

If my son’s condition is so complexly structured – what are the procedures for his surgery? Everybody agrees that his surgery is a must, but the experts are not unanimous about when it should take place.

I am left with all this questions and uncertainties. But isn’t that what a whole life is about? – someone would say. Yes, but kids are not supposed to have their lives threatened by anything.

I would like just to see my boy happy together with his first love – like Morrissey have said in one song.