The Spinach Rampage

There is a very humorous site out there. It is called Sogeshirts blog of masterful entertainment. The most of the blog's posts deal with the recalling of the nutty events and stunts from author’s childhood. Other ones are no less rampageous. Therefore, if you need something to cheer up be sure to visit this site for a little dopamine.

There is a very comical post there talking about the author's struggle for the Subway sandwiches, back from the time of his elementary school days.

Well, I must confess that his post gave me an idea for this one.

But I am going to dive even more in the past – to the time of my kinder garden adventures. I am going to confess my first, unforgivable sin, the one which started everything, the very first one which incited the chain reaction of the pratfalls and follies that hasn’t ceased yet, up to this moment.

Well, I remember that I was absurdly in love, even as a 5 year old, in a beautiful 5 year old girl, with a gorgeous brown hair. I even remember her name. I was basically shaking with fever every time she was around.

I also recall the iron discipline that we were all subjected to, like a little army. My main weapon was my ability to draw. I am still able to recall the satisfaction I felt every time when other kids or our caretakers would express admiration for my drawing masterpieces.

Some kids were showing, even at such an early age, the redundancy of the self-confidence, they were making it clear that they are the ones that nobody could mess around with, the ones who are writing the rules. Some other ones were lacking that confidence completely. My friend Rade, the hero of this story, was belonging to the later group.

I believe I was somewhere in the middle when it comes to playing a tough guy. All I was interested into were drawing and looking around for Biljana, which was her name. The feeling that I felt every time she was at my sight could be in comparison to the eruption of volcano.

My friend Rade was sticking with me the most of the time, he was not interested in any girl, at least not to my knowledge, also, he saw some kind of the shelter in me, because some of the nasty kids that were tormenting everybody around did not bother with me, for some reason. Maybe because I was admired for my drawing capabilities, I am not sure, I guess I will never know. As a result, he was trying to lunch beside me or just to hang around.

After the lunch, around 1.30 – was a sleeping time. In a big room, with many of my paintings hanged on the walls - maybe 20 of us were laying beside each other on the small, pinky beds. Sleeping at that time was a must. Our caretakers were very specific about it. Alternatively, maybe we were picturing their authority as much stronger than it was ever intended to be. But, I also remember – that during the couple of years that I had spent there – I was never sleeping at 1.30 time. The world and everything around me were too new, there was so much to see and no valid reason to keep the eyes shout - I was still unable to realize that I cannot fly.

Funny enough, I believe that most of the other kids were not sleeping also.

In that room the TV was always on.

The only time when somebody was permitted to interrupt the silence was in a case a cartoon suddenly showed up on the television.

The room was filled with silence and then somebody would scream out loud: Cartooooon! Cartoon starts!

That was the sign for everybody to get up from the pinky beds and from the depths of fake sleep, sign to turn the eyes towards the Bugs Bunny or Donald Duck.

We did not have a cartoon channel back in that time, so the appearance of cartoon was considered as the most exciting moment. The moment when reality turns into fantasy.

Only if that is the case our caretakers were approving the pseudo-sleep stoppage.

I was among the ones who had the satisfaction to announce the cartoon-blast for a couple of times.

My first unforgivable sin which I am going to spill the beans about now it had everything to do with spinach. Furthermore, with my friend Rade, as well.

Once a week we had spinach for lunch. It is a real mystery to me now when I am thinking about it – why everybody, really everybody disliked spinach, and it was not unusual to see bursts of cry at the moment it was being served. To have it for lunch means to introduce 5 year old with the fact that there are bad things in life, the ones that bring disgust and discomfort. The spinach only initiated that chain reaction in life.

Caretakers in command were the old school; they did not allow anybody to leave until the plates were licked clean.

On the spinach day, when I was again on the edge of the tears - looking in the green, sticky and awful pile in front of me - I noticed that my friend Rade, who was sitting next to me, almost finished with his torment.

The green substance on his plate was disappearing, although his eyes were full of tears. He was getting close to the point when he would be able to leave that place – to run away from that inquisition lunch room, and change it for a playground. Only a few bites separated him from deliverance. He will be finished with it very soon; he is going to get the permission any moment by now.

Even so, my spinach was still untouched. I am not sure was I crying or not, but I was coping with the complete despair. The green thing never looked more grossly and while some other kids were almost done, the rest were still in tears or getting close to it, like me.

Rade finished his plate. Although he was eyes all tears I could see the smile on his face. He got up to look for a lady caretaker and to announce his deliverance. In addition, the crucial moment had happened.

I had switched the plates. While he was gone to look for a lady who was giving approval, I had used 10 seconds of his absence. Then I saw them coming. Before they had approached the table I had gotten up, took the clear, Rade's plate and said to the lady: I am through! She looked at me with approval.

I got up and ran. I was faster than a speeding bullet finding my way out. I had turned around, and I saw the indescribable expression on Rade’s face. The caretaker lady was saying to him: "Why are you lying, you did not even touch the meal? Seat down and eat!"

I still remember Rade’s face. I think I will never forget. He did not say much to defend himself. He didn't even try. For a moment I think that he was not even sure did he ever finish with that plate of spinach or not. He sat down and took the spoon.

He had to eat a double portion of the most unspeakable course on that day.

Furthermore, I got away without a bait.

Do I ever deserve forgiveness?