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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

18 Years

There are a lot of things that you can do online nowadays but for me, being from Bosnia makes many of them difficult.

It was in the news recently about the PayPal service having broken down - people weren't able to use their accounts if the transfers they were making included a transaction with a person or company from another country. What a fuss there was about it. Even at the top news sites in Bosnia and Croatia - the ones I read every day - splashed the news in their top headlines. And yet, ironically, neither Bosnia nor Croatia are allowed to use the services of this internet money transfer giant to the full.

Once again, I remind myself how all this came about. The countries of the former Yugoslavia were a long way ahead of all the other countries of Eastern block (to which Yugoslavia never belonged) as far as their readiness to enter the European Community was concerned, before the start of the wars unleashed by Serbian aggression in the nineties,

So if the reform government of 
Ante Markovic had prevailed back than, instead of the rigid, nationalistic parties pretending to be social-democratic (as Slobodan Milosevic's party claimed itself to be), and if the politicians of those forgotten times had had the determination to search for civilized, constructive solutions, for The Peaceful Resolution of Conflict instead of brutal wars - if that was the case (I'm just fantasizing now), all those Balkan nations would have been officially in Europe for more than 18 years now. A long way ahead of Poland, Slovakia, Czech Republic, Hungary, and all those others

Now, let's pause for a second. What that means is that instead of 18 years of progress, we have spent 18 years going backwards, thanks mainly to the unspeakable Milosevic's atrocities and the indifference and passivity of the international community.

Too often that thought comes back to bother me - how would things have turned out if there hadn't been so many shits around.

I wanted to do something on line, something small, but the stuff that I was interested in involved buying and selling - with only PayPal accepted.
Of course, I could do nothing, and this minor disaster reminded me of my 18 years without... , (the manuscript ends here).



Notice: From now on the installments of my prose work (a novel maybe) under the working title of - I wouldn't recommend this (with more than 25ooo words already) - are available to subscribers only.

.... I started thinking about thousands of years old families wiped out forever by anger and cold ignorance, and about their hidden traces in my own DNA, and about how much the strength of the vanished has got to do with who we are; and about what had happened to each of those women from whom I had parted company and whose life then went into decline; about a supreme being the girls had referred to earlier – and all the physical evidence of chaos available to us; and also about what other people will always see as impenetrable in people like us, sitting at this table, and that they will never have access to – an ugly scar from the flame of history that burned too close to our faces, too recent, too savage, casting a special kind of shadow blurring our view but at the same time giving us an unrelenting advantage – in my case the beautiful handicap of a life lived in permanent anticipation of the chance of being healed. As though my only job in life has been to keep my balance on the narrow rope, hoping that someone like her would find that cool, really cool. Someone that I dared imagine might be her. And hoping that the genes responsible for all this, the palpable genes countless generations have tried to deform and degrade, would miraculously start becoming stronger, day by day. And that other things and thoughts would relentlessly emerge, seemingly sufficient, and cover the rest, like a thick layer of snow, covering over whatever had been there in the first place.....

Thanks to Kindle Affair, the most recent follower of this blog on Twitter.


Jim Murdochsaid...

Does this mean you can't sell your paintings on-line at the moment? Surely this is only a temporary things with PayPal.

J. C.said...

Hi Jim. Yes, it means exactly that - I can use PayPal with only send money capabilities but not to receive money. I had couple of people interested in buying some of my paintings but they were turned down with the fact that I cannot use PayPal. I guess it is the most trusted service, maybe they should pay me something for mentioning them so much here. It is sad but true. There are alternative ways but people are suspicious about them. I guess it is one of the numerous prices that one need to pay by living here we I am.


Hi J.C., I had no idea about any of this - it is unfortunate. I hope positive changes for true democracy happen in your country. With the geometric speed at which technology is happening, the world will be a completely different place within 15 years. I suggest you find other ways to get around the situation until things change. Just know you have a friend in me who respects you in the highest regard. Have a great day!

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